Desiderata
by CherLnIDA
Summary: (Tallest Zim/Prisoner Dib AU) (ZADR) Tallest Zim is more a rebellious mind than a leader, being forced to choose someone who will serve him by the bedside as well as joining him in meetings. Zim chooses Dib, a POW who doesn't dare bow to any of the Tallest; having an affair with a slave is taboo in the empire, but Zim's not the typical leader.
1. Chapter 1

Desiderata

By Cherilyn Ohlau

Warning: Disturbing and violent content; sexual content; this is an AU

Invader Zim (2001-2006) is owned by Jhonen Vasquez and Nickelodeon

_Avaunt! tonight my heart is light. No dirge will I upraise,_

_But waft the angel on her flight with a paean of old days!_

_Let no bell toll!–lest her sweet soul, amid its hallowed mirth,_

_Should catch the note, as it doth float up from the damned Earth._

_To friends above, from fiends below, the indignant ghost is riven–_

_From Hell unto a high estate far up within the Heaven–_

_From grief and groan to a golden throne beside the King of Heaven- Edgar Allan Poe ("Lenore")_

"_We are going to fight. We are going to be hurt. And in the end, we will stand."_

― _Stephen King, The Drawing of the Three_

Chapter One

Zim had became one of the Tallest during his teenage years as an Irken, the growth spurt and maturity had lit his libido but he was picky with mates as one would with choosing mates like choosing horses to run stretches at the races. Zim was flirty with the military type Irkens, but that's all it was flirting. Zim wasn't one to wear his gauntlets either, he refused to wear them and declined to attend the ceremony to cut his thumb. He might've been third in command besides Red and Purple, but the rebel blood ran through him. Zim felt shackled by archaic means; after he professed this at the ceremonial table, even the Prime Minister Irken of Affairs had left in an insulted huff. Red and Purple had grown livid of sharing the palace with Zim and his need to be independent, not even his Tallest gear that was specially made for him was not agreed upon; Zim instead wore robes, boots with heels, and a collar with feathers or fur. Zim was always the type to be flashy and flaunt himself if only to make the male Irkens feel hot under the collar.

This type of behavior was inspiring young Irkens, this did not help with Zim's reputation amongst those who shoved their noses into old laws. Red finally gave him a deal, "Find a slave to serve you, so that you would look better instead of stepping on toes!" Zim reluctantly agreed, if only to get the other Tallest off his back.

Zim was presented to look at the line of POWs from their prison, any alien who was found in the Irken empire's crosshairs, mostly adults and young adults would be put through reeducation camps to be warped and bend their knees to the Irkens; amongst the colors, multiple eyes and or limbs, or the tall, stout, short aliens there stood an odd, almost pale skinned bipedal alien in a black leather coat, military shoes, tattered black pants and a blood splattered old T-shirt; with his black hair dawning a slightly drooping scythe.

"Let me see your number…" The prisoner glared before tilting his head slightly so Zim could see it: P. O. W: 777789623

"Hey! What's the price on four sevens?" Zim called.

The orderly Irken looked surprised at the request, "You don't want him. That's a human; one of the most despicable mammals on this galaxy; they're emotional, violent, greedy-"

"So they're not any better than us Irkens," Zim snapped.

"I'm not working for any Tallest, you can just forget it," the human scoffed, struggling with his cuffs in the urge to handle a bad itch.

"See? Even the dainty hairless ape knows he ain't good enough for your taste."

Zim chuckled, "A price is a price. You know how it is when you put them on display," he said, "May I examine them?" the orderly shrugged, sighing. Zim went over the human, feeling his legs and hips before his fingers grazed upon in between his legs causing the young man to gasp in sheer embarrassment.

"You're not allowed to touch me there, you oversized bug," he hissed. Zim was taken by surprise at the backtalk, even other alien species trembled at him being six feet tall, but this human who was probably around 5' didn't shake or cower.

"How come I can't touch you there?"

The human was looked at by other prisoners, not expecting a line that wasn't supposed to be crossed.

"It's, um...embarrassing and personal," he replied.

"It's just reproduction genitalia."

"_Just reproduction genitalia?!"_ the human exclaimed, "You pull my pants down, I'm spitting into your eyes."

Zim chuckled, taking it as a challenge, he pried off a button and felt a quick wad of spit strike his lens, before being kicked causing him to fall over.

"Hey you…! We talked about this! You seriously want another collar zap?!" the orderly yelled, "This is treason to our Almighty Tallest!"

"Like I care!" the human snapped.

Zim broke into amused laughter, standing up, "I'm buying this human! What's his price? I'll pay!" he exclaimed in excitement, "This is exactly the server I need by my side."

"Oh, but my Tallest...surely, you need a slave more submissive?"

"No. This one was made for me."

The human was bought, his collar replaced by a stamp of permanent ink in the shape of the Irken logo on his neck, before a scanner device injected a tracking chip in his wrist. It felt like taking a vaccine, but the human felt the annoying metal cling onto his bone. The Irken in charge of the shop's desk looked at Zim, "You gonna rename him?"

Zim's antenna twitched, "Rename? What's his real one?"

"Nothing special, Dib," The Irken explained, "Parents must've liked taking bets or something." Dib's face curled in rage but turned his head away at the mention of parents. Zim took notice.

"I'm keeping his name," Zim replied.

"Hey, he's your pet, so whatever you want, sir…" The Irken pulled out a collar with a leash, "You know, instead of regular leather...we got shockers, sedative injects and drug injects in order to keep them obedient. Wouldn't want them to get any bright ideas…" Zim slammed the money on the desk, "Ooh, gold monie."

"I have no need for super powerful collars," Zim said wrapping the collar on and attaching the buckle as if Dib was a newly bought dog.

"Gee, thanks for sparing me," Dib said dryly.

"Ooh, ooh, ooh! We have muzzles!"

"I said _I don't want any!"_ Zim snapped.

The drive home to the palace was awkward and quiet, Zim might've held the leash but Dib kept his distance. It was a prey animal instinct to stay far from a perceived threat, and Zim no doubt held his life on the line. Zim could snuff him out, but Dib wasn't going to give an inch. Whenever Zim wanted to speak to him, Dib gave him the cold shoulder.

Red and Purple were flabbergasted to see such a pale hairless thing before them as Zim finally walked through the front door. "Uhh...what is this?" Purple exclaimed, "A hairless dog?"

Dib raised an eyebrow, "You want me to bite you to find out?"

"Gaaaah! Red!" Purple exclaimed.

Red rolled his eyes as Purple coward behind him, "Don't be like that. Do you see how skinny this...uh, hairless whatever is? I doubt he's even got rabies, no less ticks or fleas," he paused, "He's got no pests on him, right?"

"Probably some dead bugs in his follicles but he's going to have a bath anyway. I will make sure he will be washed and take his meals; tomorrow I will show him to his duties as a...special servant by my side," Zim explained.

Red glared and looked at Dib, "You really this rude prisoner is going to listen to you? I doubt it, Zim. You're a violent Irken, slap him, pull at his hair, or hit him with a crop or something."

Purple looked at the other Tallest, skeptical and confused, "Wait, we still use crops? For what? We got ships and hoverboards! What _horse _are we going to whip with crops?!"

"They're for slapping slaves now."

"Ohhh...and the carriage things?"

"They're run by anti-gravitational jet propulsion with robot mutant horses for show."

Purple paused, "I thought you meant we had no horses."

"You know what, never mind," Red sighed in exasperation.

Zim followed after Dib to the bathroom despite the other male's embarrassed protest about it being against privacy. Zim just gently assured the human that being a different species altogether didn't feel as embarrassing and he shouldn't worry about it. Zim got a warm bath running in a round tub and turned on bubbles that released medicine for skin. Dib threw off his dirty rags and underwear as his cock hung, Zim looked amused by the round sacks and twitching like muscle that was like a bloated tail, "Your genitalia is quite fascinating...but, for your kind...I bet this is relatively average. Isn't it?" He teased. Dib scoffed, brushing his teeth with a generic looking brush and a bland but minty toothpaste left by the sink. He rinsed his mouth and washed his face, following a very mundane routine he likely followed prior to capture.

Dib shyly looked at him, "Do you have a razor?"

"What for?"

"My face is itchy."

Oh. He meant shaving. Zim walked over to a different cabinet, pulling out a cream bottle and a razor, typically Irkens don't have hairs on their chin, but their antenna had been growing follicles at the bottom stalk due to age recently. Zim handed the items and Dib shaved the dirty hairs off his chin and sides. Zim admired him, not letting Dib notice the subtle fawning over his body; this was a mundane routine to a human eye, but Zim felt like he was observing an animal groom.

Dib slowly dipped himself into the water, and dove in for the dirt off his hair along with dead bugs to fall off after a good scratching, a moon shaped drain (glowing a luminous blue) changed the color of the dirty water before sucking it up. Dib arose, startled at first before new water was added by another drain. Zim chuckled a little, not expecting such a rather cute response to the water filter.

"I'm picky about germs, you see," Zim said in amusement.

Dib turned his head away, "Yeah, yeah...royalties gotta keep their ass' clean but their hands. Right?"

Zim fell silent, perplexed by the comment. He wasn't one to handle the tables, the lack of motivation made him be like a lounge lizard; he handled war tactics, but he very rarely handled deals. Ah, for Irks sake, I can't believe I'm thinking about meetings right now in the bathroom.

Zim just subconsciously handed the male a vial of shampoo and body wash made from cultivated Irken flowers. Dib sniffed himself after the wash, trying to pin the scent to anything familiar. He looked up at Zim, looking extremely confused. "What _too flowery?"_ Zim commented, dryly, it was a common complaint he heard from the two other Tallest.

"Why do I smell like linen?"

Zim held back laughter. "The soaps don't smell like flowers to you?" he asked sincerely. Dib looked skeptical.

"Flowers?! These are flowers?!" Dib exclaimed, "How are these flowers when they smell like fresh sheets."

"I think it might be because you lack antenna. Irken cultivating flowers are more for the Irken body than a human; what smells lackluster to you, is more sweet and flowery to us."

"Figures…" Dib slowly got up, "Hey, can I take this leather collar off?"

Zim frowned, "You'll learn to get used to it. You sleep with it, and generally walk around with it, unless it gets dirty or needs to be replaced; you never take your collar off unless I want to." Dib groaned, wrapping on a bathrobe and gestured to his old rags.

"And these?"

"They'll be burnt. Not like you need them anymore, but your shoes and any accessories, will be kept. I don't see why you have an attachment to old tatters, I can buy you new ones."

Dib sighed softly, picking out a few things from his old pockets, a pocket notebook, holographic locket, and what looked like a foldable gas mask. "Fine, I won't argue about this...my clothes have gotten small," Dib said.

"Ah, just remember, you're here to serve me. You stay by my side and serve my sexual needs,"

"So I'm just your bed toy," Dib said, somewhat annoyed.

Zim took out a spare white shirt, pants, and white undies into his arms, "How's your stamina?" Dib just shrugged, he wasn't expecting sex out of the deal as he was expecting the bucket and sponge; like most of the young male prisoners, masturbation was more of a luxury, if it got too much to handle, some nights weren't quiet as they should but Dib didn't want to admit it to the Tallest that he wanted to be banged on the prison wall to get the temptation out. Dib remembered nights of curling his legs and holding himself when he felt tight and hard, when he was able to clean his hands with clean water, it felt amazing and hot to play with himself.

Zim flicked his forehead, taking him out of past fantasies. "Let me rephrase that then, how long do you last when you play with yourself?" Dib's face curled, crossing his arms, "I'm your _Tallest, _don't ignore me!"

"I'm an Earthling, not an Irken, therefore you're not my master."

Zim chuckled, smirking, enjoying this fire from this man's belly, "When I bought you; I was not expecting you to be so obligated or submissive. I prefer a stray cat like you to get his claws out and I revel in it."

Dib looked to be trying to process the sentence, "I guess you won't go easy on me."

"I expect the same in vice versa, _Earthling."_

Zim gestured him to walk over being careful about Dib stepping on his sash that draped to the floor where it was tied around his robe. He took out something no thinner than a hairpin with little lights blinking. It was a stimulant device used for slaves in chambers if drugs felt too extreme, Zim clicked on a remote and little bumps came out from the compartments. Dib raised an eyebrow but didn't look too impressed, seeing it as a miniature dildo to just shove it in. He'd seen fiercer ones in the red light districts. "Is your anus that small?" Dib teased.

"It's the highest tech vibrator, and automatic dildo, it comes with stimulated micro-feathers and it secretes lube so that it doesn't cause pain. It's not going up _my _ass, it's going up _yours_," Zim said firmly, "Take a deep breath and hold it as I place it in. Wouldn't want you screaming during the shove."

"Fucking really—"

"I said _bend over!" _Zim barked, placing down the human against the bed on his stomach. Dib did up bracing himself as he felt that small phallic toy be placed in, he almost bit the bed covers as Zim stretched him slightly; the little object excited him slightly, feeling his body groan just by the penetration. Zim didn't place it too far, just enough for walls to reverberate the vibrations and horizontal movements were just slight inches. "Looks like you wanted this for a while," he purred. Dib scoffed.

"I can...handle this…" Dib wheezed.

"Then can you try not to orgasm in under five minutes?" Zim challenged.

"I...I can hold it…"

Zim smiled a little, happy to see such an attitude instead of begging. He could bring Dib to that level but he felt exhilarated that the young man would rather throw punches than be held down.

Zim pressed the button at the lowest setting and Dib gasped at the surge. He laid down on the bed, hoping his body would just endure it if he laid back; but since the vibration was internal, it did nothing but increase the sensation. Dib's toes and fingers curled, sounding like he was struggling as he grunted in frustration.

"You're barely a minute in, and it looks like you popped your metaphorical cherry," Zim mocked.

"F...fu...ahn...fuck...you…" Dib gasped, his legs twisting.

Zim chuckled, "Is that a request or an insult, Dib?"

"Idiot...bug...nothing but...a green oversized ant…"

Zim rotated the dial, Dib almost screamed and he felt the torturous pumps. Zim walked over, with his heel boots clacking against the floor and just lightly rubbed on Dib's hard on with his hand. "Mmm...your expression is delicious Dib," Zim purred, "I want to take you right now but that's against the game rules." Dib looked like he was lost in a mental fog, he was looking up at Zim, lost in his gaze. Zim leaned over, massaging Dib's collarbone before licking his neck. Dib let out a gasp, he wanted to protest this was cheated, but he felt so good a moan escaped instead.

"Oh _God…_" Dib strained.

Zim kissed him fiercely, "You're mine now, when you scream in lust, scream 'My Tallest'," he commanded. Dib was lightly bouncing his hips, imagining being fucked as Zim slowly turned the dial. Dib's moan was indescribable as Zim thought it was disgusting and beautiful. Dib looked ready to pop, his face was red and he was slumping over with his legs spread. The young prisoner probably didn't have the energy to scream or moan, his breathing was coming out in shorter huffs like a tired dog, yet his body was tightening and locking. Zim checked his timer, it was past five minutes. Zim chuckled and stopped the buzzing of the toy, but Dib looked frustrated when he pulled it out, "What's _that _look for? You won the deal; so I took it out."

Dib pursed his lips, "I...was having fun with it." Zim rose an eyebrow, confused by the odd bluntness of the young adult; it was a toy meant to tease and humiliate, but Dib must have been lonely as he thought, his body truly did want it.

"Shall I get something bigger?"

"No, just leave me be."

Zim quietly left the chambers to let the human deal with himself, even though he was bought from his moneyworth; he couldn't bring himself to be overly physical. Red and Purple exchanged mischievous smiles like a pair of Cheshire cats at the notice of Zim's troubled look. They glided over and Zim couldn't help but shrink slightly.

"So, no dice?" Purple teased.

"I'll have you know, the human is perfectly fine," Zim hissed, "I was merely testing his stamina...he lasted past five minutes." Red and Purple looked mildly impressed, but this was nothing as big as they hoped.

"And? No, no, wait...don't tell me, you used your teeny toy. It ain't nothing but a muscle vibrator, you know that," Purple teased, "You're supposed to be the leader here, either you seduce him or you fuck him."

Zim felt his cheeks turn a deep red, "You...you prune!" Red slapped him harshly, flexing his claws before slapping him again, till Zim was holding his mouth and coughing into it. Zim looked at him and glared.

"The only thing holding us back from kicking you out is because we're all the same height. If you didn't have that, I would have made you a slave long ago," Red growled, "You dare call your older superiors any insult, _or _backtalk, I'm going to make you regret getting that growth spurt."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"How are the war efforts on Hyros?"

"Uh, negative, my Tallest...our armory weapon supply has been blocked by Ocularis Barriers," the general explained with a hologram of a pathway around the holographic planet, "This in particular, is a problem, explosive blockades." Ocularis Barriers were the newest made by resistance groups, they were invisible to the point even dust pass through but soldiers would be vaporized once the crosshair was met. Hyros was one of the many planets filled with resources, but was mostly known for its sugar, Zim agreed to help with discussing strategies in order to obtain; but seeing the board was different than actually fighting on it. Zim had to be careful in making tactics, otherwise a misstep would be costly. Dib watched on in new clothes not so different from his old ones, Zim insisted he could wear fancier versions if he wished, only for Dib to scoff ("I'm just your slave, aren't I? I'm not going to dress up for you").

"Has there been any suggestions for attacking above, or below?" Zim asked.

"There's mines in the way, and the tunnels are too unstable to use explosives. We'd kill our men first before crossing…"

"Ship deployment from above?"

"We're working on that."

Zim sighed. "Are there anti air guns or missiles, is that the reason why progress is lagging?!" Zim sometimes felt like he was dropped into talks with generals and war leaders because Red was busy with his own conflicts, and Purple...who knows what Purple did; either his chair talks ended early or he was being lazy. Zim fumed, remembering the night before not listening to the general. Zim's petty anger was clouding him.

"Irk to Zim?" Purple's voice startled Zim, causing him to nearly fall off his chair.

"Tallest Purple?" Zim scowled, irritated, "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?"

"Funny to hear that from you," Purple replied. Zim glared, crossing his arms, "Now don't have a hissy fit over last night; but I'm sure you're used to that," he mocked. Dib quietly watched on from his chair, tempted to grab his leash and wrap it around Purple, but the Tallest caught on beforehand; he clasped his claws around Dib's leash collar, "Now, as you know, the high leader of Vort wants to visit, and he wants to meet you." Zim blanched.

"I'm no mediator," Zim stammered.

"It's just a simple meet and greet," Purple explained but Zim had a hard time being convinced it was just that simple; ever since Larb conquered it, the leader had been at a stalemate with the Irken regime. He refused to leave without a fight and because of Vortian technology surpassed the Irkens, the soldiers were greeted by blasts of rays, and at worst, met with being burned alive by melted metal oil like it was in ancient times when spears, arrows and axes were being used. Zim felt his body pale thinking about how to approach, he knew full well that the leader would prefer him beheaded than sharing cognac over papers. "Honestly, you know...butter him up like how you butter up some of your generals and soldiers; use your sexy wiles to good use," Purple added.

Zim glared, "Why don't you do it? You're a bigger slacker than me. You're barely at your appointments, leaving it up to me, or the Irken diplomats to handle it for you."

Purple shrugged and pulled on Zim's lower robe around his waist, that was wrapped around him like an exotic skirt, Zim's preferred fashion over the suits were robes, vests and sashes, even his tank top was a replication of what Tallest wore in the old time; aside from a modern high heel black boots and leather uniform gloves, he gave off an air of royalty and sexual appeal. Purple was aware of this, and so did Red, "I don't sway them as well you can. You who constantly shows off their skin and legs…"

Zim slammed his gloves on the table, before getting up to glare at the Tallest, both gave off hisses like felines engaging in a territorial battle, trying to look bigger than the other, even if they were of equal height.

"_Yeeeah," _Dib sighed, cupping his cheek, "If you two Prima Donna's wanna fight with claws out, leave me out of it."

"Hey, who ordered you to talk, you hairless mutt?!" Purple snapped.

Zim slapped Purple, leaving a scratch on him, "Don't you dare insult _my _servant! You have your own underlings, do it to them!"

Purple seethed in anger, "You made me bleed, you brat."

"I'll make you bleed more if you think Dib is owned by you!" Zim growled.

"Please, please, my Tallest. Don't fight amongst yourselves, you have staff and military, you know it lowers morale to see our leaders bicker and fight," the general said, trying to defuse the situation. Purple almost looked ready to strangle Zim, but he held himself back, and instead spat on his clothing in defiance to the youngest leader.

"You're not a real Tallest—"

"And you're a joke of a leader," Zim interrupted, "I'll handle the discussion with the Vort while you gorge yourself like a pig."

Purple wanted to say something, his face dark blue with rage, but instead threw the glass of alcohol over Zim before hovering out the door. Zim sighed, cleaning his face with a napkin. Ever since Zim became Tallest, Purple was the most furious about it and the most hostile. Zim excused himself from the meeting table, taking Dib by the leash again before settling in the lounge area. Dib kept his distance again, making sure that barrier between them was respected.

"I thought the three of you had equal power," Dib commented. This wasn't his place to put input, but Dib just echoed what Zim was thinking.

"It's more complicated than that," Zim replied.

"_Why? _You're all of equal height. Wouldn't it be more beneficial to have all three leaders working together than having them, you know, work separately?"

Being lectured by a human about Irken talks felt more than embarrassing, as Zim reluctantly accepted Purple was more of a slacker unless it involved snacks and food, meanwhile Red was picky over his own issues but dumped all the sticky war conflicts to Zim. It was no longer a mix of water and oil, this was water, oil and grease trying to work as paint. Dib noticed Zim's troubled expression, he felt a burn of regret despite their differences in status and species.

"I'm sorry, that was a bit...below the belt," Dib said.

"What are you apologizing for? Your observations are accurate; the three of us should work as one, but we don't. We're much too different, if we're in the same meeting room that means one of us is just handling a slide, or helping with presentation just so the _other _Tallest doesn't shirk off their duties."

Dib looked at a loss, he placed his elbow on the arm of the couch and shook his head, rubbing his temples, "Great, just _great_, am I going to be dragged into you three's struggle for power?"

"You won't be if you keep your monkey mouth shut," Zim growled.

Dib rolled his eyes. Zim was still ruffled by Purple's insults, any form of eloquence had been temporarily replaced by pettiness insult volleying, that Dib had only seen as a child. Dib was contemplating whether to inquire about the Vortian leader, only to have his thoughts be blindsided when Zim pulled his leash; after a few tugs Dib was on his lap. Dib glared.

"You shit-!" Dib barked.

"I'm on my last nerves, please me."

"I'll please you by shoving this leather piece down your fucking throat, you goddamn stick beetle!"

Zim glared and pulled him close by shoving his rear, Dib retaliated by putting his boot to Zim's face, and Zim countered pulling him upside down by holding his legs, and Dib placed his palm to Zim's mouth. The two letting out frustrated grunts and groans. Red yawned, hovering in after his long winded meeting, in hopes of relaxation on the recliner; only for his eyes to widen in surprise at the display by Zim and Dib. Red raised an eyebrow and slowly backed away out the door, "Um, on second thought...I'll just leave you two...whatever you're doing—"

"Don't make me bite your ass!" Zim snarled.

"I'll kick yours and slam your stomach, you greasy cicada!" Dib yelled back.

"_Riiiight_, have fun playing with your pet, Zim!" Red waved as he left, whistling as he forgot what he saw. Zim finally found himself having the upper hand as Dib grew tired during their struggle, slamming Dib onto the couch and pinning him with his upper body strength. They caught their breath, locked onto one others gaze. They just sat there at a standstill before Zim tenderly felt Dib's cheek; feisty, hot, and uncontrollable, Dib was well wrapped in these words that Zim could only describe him. Dib moved his hand aside, knowing that the affection was superficial, and he wanted nothing to do with it. Zim felt annoyed by the resistance, Dib was pinned but his resistance came in full force. Zim expected this, but he never saw this much force.

"Obey me," Zim barked.

"No."

Zim felt steam rise in his body, "I said _obey. _Listen to me!" He yelled in frustration.

"You're no better than Red or Purple!" Dib snapped. Zim felt like reality flung against his head at that, he let go of Dib's hands despite still pinning the human down underneath him. Zim wasn't one to be ashamed of his actions, but as of now, he did. Dib looked up at the Tallest with burning anger in his eyes; yet underneath laid a sheet of embarrassment and feeling violated. Zim didn't understand up till now that it was hasty actions that brought him to this; to be compared to those two fools, those idiots who barely did a damn. Zim shut his eyes, it was too late to apologize to Dib, the human was humiliated enough.

"Please…" Zim sighed, "Or are you too young for this?"

Dib blanched slightly, "I'm twenty one."

"Are you just not into sex?"

"N-no, it's not like that."

"Then _why?" _Zim asked.

Dib flinched, looking more embarrassed; his face was red and playing with his fingers shyly. "I…" he sighed, "I don't feel ready, okay?" Zim scoffed, he had forgotten humans sometimes worshipped virginity, mostly due to religious reasons, but Zim never understood that concept even when clergyman from different galaxies kissed his fingers; but Zim was even more confused by Dib's answer. Didn't humans use to gloat "didn't matter, had sex", and both sexes were depicted like horny animals? Surely some of the men windmill their front tails like a garden hose going wild.

"Stop looking at my crotch," Dib replied dryly. Zim was taken by surprise but waved him off, finally deciding to give the human space, "Why are you in such a hurry to have sex with me to begin with?"

Zim scowled, "You serve me."

Dib sat up, crossing his arms, "Is that it?"

Zim's lips quivered slightly, being put on the spot by his servant was embarrassing; he remembered Red's words still, he wanted so badly to prove to them that he can dominate his pet; but out of some deep uncertainty he felt guilt bubble. No, Zim was just as powerful and competent. "My affairs don't involve you," Zim knew he sounded petty. There was no way a human could possibly understand—

Dib took off his coat and tossed it aside, leaving it on the coffee table before it sagged to the floor.

"Let's barter then," he said, "You want my ass that badly then let's make a deal."

Zim was dumbfounded, "What?"

"Barter, a deal, an agreement by both parties. If I don't like it, you don't get even get a hand job."

"You're playing dirty…"

"Said the pot to the kettle," Dib mocked.

Honestly, this human-! As much as Zim wanted this human's blazing tenacity, he was not fond of how Dib had leverage using sex as bargaining chips. Zim once held power as an authority figure, but Dib controlled the board.

"I'm offering my body as your bedside servant, what do I get out of it?" Dib said.

"My guess is expensive clothing, and sweet nothings are out of this?" Dib answered silently by shaking his head in disagreement, "What do you want?"

"Information on the Vortian leader who you're going to see."

Zim leaned back, curious at such a request, "For what reason?" he inquired. Dib looked like his gears were turning, trying to find the right words as Zim was patiently waiting on his side of the couch. Zim was, by now, used to negotiating and handling ultimatums, they were usually handled on the desk or couches with the preparation of ink and pen with a paper stack; this was the first time he was bartering with a servant.

"It's...something I can't divulge about."

Zim crossed his arms, lightly dangling his leash as a reminder. Dib sighed.

"Okay, okay, fine," Dib replied firmly, "If I think who I think it is, he might be assassinated during the meeting. I need to know who he is, or this can really can get messy with me...you included!"

"Assassination? During a diplomatic meeting?" Zim asked. Dib nodded.

"Cicero Vengal of Planet Vort, I know you Irkens in particular want him dead; so I highly doubt diplomacy is to be engaged. I need to where he's headed and divert attention from the assassin," Dib explained.

"What happens if we don't?"

"Do you wanna be framed for murder?" Dib said, "You're being positioned into taking the fall for Irk."

Zim's lips curled, "Surely, you can't believe that. You're mad," he said defiantly. Dib raised an eyebrow, putting his feet up on the coffee table.

"Am I? You _really _think that? I'm under your ownership. You expect me to lie to you?"

Zim sighed, "No…" Although he had his doubts, he couldn't argue how it was fishy Purple dumped this on him in the middle of his own conflicts. Zim got the brunt of taking scolds by other leaders because of his attendance, making him almost representative, but being framed in such a situation wasn't too out of the question. "Fine, I shall provide information, but only information. You will help me...protect the leader."

Dib chuckled, "Are you agreeing because you want this ass, or you don't want to be the scapegoat?" he teased.

Zim felt bristled, "This is nothing to laugh about!" he shouted, cheeks reddened. Zim had lost the mood for sex, he at first felt so frustrated he wanted a fuck, but now his stress was placed somewhere other than the bedroom. Dib could only look on with an observing eye, wishing deep inside that the Tallest was readable; but the leader with his reddish pink lenses made it much harder to read them human body language or reading expressions. Dib started to wonder how long Zim was going to sit there, till Zim glanced at him.

"Come with me," Zim commanded.

"To where, the bed?"

Zim sighed, "Just come with me…" Dib shrugged, following Zim out the lounge and into the hallway, before grasping his collar and going into the corner of it. "Listen human, if what you say is true then ravishing you will have the wait; if such a thing broke out and I'm caught in the crosshairs I'll never hear the end of it. I have an idea...but you have to be more bitchy than normal." Dib looked unimpressed, "Don't be like that; I'm going to let Purple babysit you while I'm out running _errands; _and you shake his tree to get any information out of him."

"What do I get out of helping you?"

"Ah, more bartering," Zim replied, wryly, "Do you want dinner before sex?"

"We're not on a date, but...good food does sound nice."

Dib let out a small breath when Zim pulled him close by his waist and tenderly placed his lips against his. Dib wanted to push the Tallest but his hands on Zim's chest robes started grasping the cloth. He groaned at the sweetest taste of alcohol from Zim's mouth, and it lingered like Dib just drank champagne from glass. Dib couldn't say it to himself but he felt his body had grown for the younger Tallest. Dib felt his mind spinning after they parted and noticed Red had passed them. Dib groaned in embarrassment that he was swept off his feet by Zim and was indulging; he glared up at Zim. "Sorry, I had to keep up appearances," Zim said. Dib shook his head.

"Whatever," Dib scoffed, feeling deflated.

"Can you pretend to be unruly in front of him?" Zim paused, "Even more so?"

"You...want me to kick his ass?"

"I mean give him a hard time so he spills information, not a bar brawl. Honestly, what were you before you were captured?!"

Dib rolled his eyes, crossing his shoulders, and leaned himself against the palace wall. He remained silent, without giving Zim even a glance like some broody lone hero in one of those Irken comics Zim read as a child. "Your silence is getting old and dull," he commented, stroking Dib's cheek, "Sooner or later, you have to be honest with me. I own you, you have a marking and chip under my name; you can't stay silent for long...you have to talk."

"You don't own me, I own you. Yeah, I'm a servant but I'm also a pet; owners serve their pets wishes to keep them happy," Dib pointed at the collar, "This thing on me, is also connected to you. I bet it'll look irresponsible if you can't keep me well looked after!"

Zim flinched, being reminded of being the black sheep out of the three Tallest. Zim hated how the tables were turning on him, Dib was very knowledgeable on handling ultimatums and negotiations; this only made Zim more particularly curious about his past and Dib knew when and not to fold. Gah, he could talk about this later, there was only one thing on his mind; keeping Cicero safe from the bullet. Zim wasn't going to let himself be hung by the Tallest noose and lose his position because of a scandal.

Purple was absorbed in his calligraphy study inside his quarters, he hated it but it was the only thing besides eating to calm his nerves; old Irken language was like an art in itself with complex characters and it felt fun to connect characters onto a scroll. Purple was startled by the sudden knocking, almost dropping his ink, but grabbing it in time despite small droplets hitting the floor with minor stains. Purple groaned in annoyance, getting up and opened his door to stare at Zim and Dib. "What are you doing here with your mutt?" Purple spat with a hint of venom, irritated his calligraphy hours were interrupted.

"I need you to...pet sit," Zim said, "He's still fresh out of the prison cell, so he's high maintenance."

"_Pet sit?!" _Purple exclaimed, "Why should I pet sit your servant?! He's your dog, you handle him."

"Um...I'm human," Dib corrected.

"You're still a dog."

Zim cleared his throat politely, "I got errands to attend to, and I obviously can't bring him everywhere, you know how it is. He is human, so please be careful as not to hurt him, they're fragile, and break and bleed so easily. Can you do that?" Purple glanced at Dib who kept his head turned and gave Purple the cold shoulder. Purple shrugged. He honestly had worse underlings in the past.

"Fine, I'll do it," Purple replied, "Oh, and before you go, you still gonna handle that Vortian leader, right?"

"Well, I doubt Red will agree to see him," Zim replied, not giving a direct yes or no answer, before leaving out the room entrance door. Dib looked around Purple's quarters, impressed that this idiot actually had taste in some alien culture arts; it was either that or Purple was too lazy to have them moved that once belonged to a prior ruler. Dib felt his boot press against paper, and leaned over and picked it up, raising an eyebrow that this was among the calligraphy paper pile.

Dib paused once he felt the back of his collar be grabbed.

"Hey!" Purple yelled, "Those are my papers!"

Dib chuckled, "Then throw them in the bin, not the floor, litter bug."

Purple shoved him to the ground with aggression, before kneeling over, grabbing his scythe and giving it a pull. It wasn't hard enough to pull his hair off his scalp, but it was just harsh enough that a swell of pain invaded his nerves like knives. Dib now had to accept that Purple was a different breed of leadership in these quarters, what he lacked in tactics and strategy, he made up for in cruelty. "Nice _faaace_," Purple cooed, his purple lenses were luminous from the shadow as he towered Dib, "How many more expressions can you make if I play with you, human mutt?" Dib was toyed with like a doll, his hair being pulled, feeling some strands fall to the ground and he felt his body bite the bullet and buckle. The numbing was kicking in, and Dib slowly opened his eyes. He fiercely punched the Tallest in his stomach before shuffling himself back, running through his hair in fear that the alien pulled some hair out too harshly.


End file.
